How Jesus Dealt with Triangulation in the Bible

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Triangulation is not a modern problem. It's an ancient strategy.

In fact, it's so old that we see it play out twice in Scripture—once as a weapon of destruction, and once as a weapon used against the Son of God Himself.

In this article, we're going to look at two biblical case studies: Absalom, who used triangulation to steal a kingdom, and Jesus, who was triangulated by the religious leaders and still won.

These two stories will show you exactly how triangulation works, how to recognize it, and how to respond when it's used against you.

Absalom's Triangulation: A Case Study in Manipulation

Let's talk about how Absalom used triangulation. Absalom was David's son. He was handsome, charismatic, and beloved by the people. But he was also deeply wounded, deeply entitled, and deeply manipulative. The story starts in 2 Samuel 13. Absalom's sister, Tamar, was raped by their half-brother Amnon. And David, as king, did nothing. He was angry, but he didn't punish Amnon.

This created a wound in Absalom. A legitimate wound. A grievance that had real injustice at its core. And here's what you need to understand: Manipulators often have real wounds. But instead of healing, they weaponize them. Absalom didn't seek justice. He sought revenge. And he didn't just want revenge against Amnon. He wanted revenge against David. So he waited. For two years, he waited. And then he killed Amnon and fled. Eventually, David allowed him to return to Jerusalem. But here's where the triangulation begins.

Phase 1: Building False Intimacy

"Absalom provided himself with a chariot and horses and with fifty men to run ahead of him. He would get up early and stand by the side of the road leading to the city gate. Whenever anyone came with a complaint to be placed before the king for a decision, Absalom would call out to him, 'What town are you from?' He would answer, 'Your servant is from one of the tribes of Israel.'" - 2 Samuel 15:1-2

Notice what Absalom is doing. He's positioning himself as accessible. As caring. As someone who listens. He's not the king. He has no authority. But he's acting like he does. And he's building relationships with people who feel unheard. Sound familiar? This is exactly what manipulators do. They find people who feel overlooked, undervalued, or wounded. And they say, "I see you. I hear you. I understand you." They're not listening to connect. They're listening to collect.

Phase 2: Planting Seeds of Doubt

"Then Absalom would say to him, 'Look, your claims are valid and proper, but there is no representative of the king to hear you.' And Absalom would add, 'If only I were appointed judge in the land! Then everyone who has a complaint or case could come to me and I would see that they receive justice.'" - 2 Samuel 15:3-4

This is brilliant manipulation. Absalom doesn't directly attack David. He doesn't say, "My father is a terrible king." He says, "Your complaint is valid. But unfortunately, there's no one to hear you. If only I were in charge, I would make sure you got justice."

He's planting seeds of doubt about David while positioning himself as the solution.

And here's the key: He's using people's real pain to recruit them. The people coming to Absalom had real complaints. Real injustices. And Absalom validated their pain—not to help them, but to use them. This is what narcissists do. They find your wound, validate it, and then weaponize it to turn you against someone else.

Phase 3: Stealing Hearts

"Absalom behaved in this way toward all the Israelites who came to the king asking for justice, and so he stole the hearts of the people of Israel." - 2 Samuel 15:6

"Stole the hearts." That's not accidental language. Absalom didn't earn their loyalty. He stole it. And here's how: He made them feel seen. He made them feel heard. He made them feel like he was the only one who truly understood them. And over time, they stopped going to David. They started going to Absalom. This is victim triangulation. Absalom positioned himself as the victim of David's neglect. And he recruited an entire nation to fight his battle for him.

Phase 4: The Coup

"Then Absalom sent secret messengers throughout the tribes of Israel to say, 'As soon as you hear the sound of the trumpets, then say, "Absalom is king in Hebron."' Two hundred men from Jerusalem had accompanied Absalom. They had been invited as guests and went quite innocently, knowing nothing about the matter... And so the conspiracy gained strength, and Absalom's following kept on increasing." - 2 Samuel 15:10-12

Notice: Two hundred men went with Absalom innocently. They didn't know they were being used. They thought they were supporting a righteous cause.

These are the flying monkeys. The unwitting allies. The people who believed Absalom's story without hearing David's side. And Absalom didn't just recruit the masses. He recruited David's own counselor, Ahithophel. He turned David's inner circle against him. This is the final phase of triangulation: total isolation. The target loses their support system, their reputation, and their position.

And here's the devastating part: David had to flee his own city. The king of Israel—the man after God's own heart—was driven out by his own son's lies.

What We Learn from Absalom

Manipulators weaponize real wounds. Absalom had a legitimate grievance. But instead of seeking healing, he used it to destroy.
Triangulation works because it validates pain. The people who followed Absalom weren't evil. They were hurting. And Absalom exploited that.
Flying monkeys often go innocently. The 200 men didn't know they were part of a coup. They thought they were supporting justice.
Even the godly are not immune. David was a man after God's own heart, and he was still triangulated. If it happened to him, it can happen to you.

Jesus's Triangulation: A Case Study in Integrity

Now let's look at the second case study: Jesus.

Jesus was triangulated by the religious leaders, by Pilate, and by the crowds. And unlike Absalom's story, where the manipulator won for a season, Jesus's story shows us how to walk through triangulation with integrity—and still win in the end.

Here's the context: The Pharisees hated Jesus. He exposed their hypocrisy. He challenged their authority. He threatened their power. But they couldn't just kill Him. They needed the crowds to turn against Him. They needed Rome to execute Him. They needed to make it look like Jesus was the problem, not them.

So they triangulated Him.

Phase 1: Gossip & Smear Campaign

The Pharisees started by spreading lies about Jesus. They said He was demon-possessed (John 8:48). They said He was a blasphemer (Mark 2:7). They said He was a threat to Rome (Luke 23:2). None of it was true. But they repeated it enough that people started to believe it.

"Among the crowds there was widespread whispering about him. Some said, 'He is a good man.' Others replied, 'No, he deceives the people.'" - John 7:12

Notice: The crowds were divided. Some believed Jesus. Some believed the Pharisees. And the Pharisees used that division to isolate Jesus. This is gossip triangulation. The Pharisees didn't confront Jesus directly. They whispered. They planted seeds of doubt. They turned public opinion against Him.

Phase 2: Authority Triangulation

Then the Pharisees pulled in a third party: Pilate. They couldn't execute Jesus themselves. They needed Rome to do it. So they brought Jesus to Pilate and said, "We have found this man subverting our nation. He opposes payment of taxes to Caesar and claims to be Messiah, a king" (Luke 23:2). This is authority triangulation. They used Pilate's power to do their dirty work.

And here's what's brilliant: Pilate didn't want to kill Jesus. John 18:38 says Pilate found no basis for a charge against Him. But the Pharisees kept pressuring him.

Phase 3: Victim Triangulation

Then they pulled in another triangle: the crowds.

"But the chief priests and the elders persuaded the crowd to ask for Barabbas and to have Jesus executed." - Matthew 27:20

The Pharisees recruited the crowds. They turned the same people who shouted "Hosanna!" into the people who shouted "Crucify Him!" And Pilate, caught between the Pharisees, the crowds, and his own political survival, caved. He washed his hands and said, "I am innocent of this man's blood. It is your responsibility!" (Matthew 27:24).

This is the final phase of triangulation: the target is isolated, accused, and destroyed. And everyone involved gets to claim they were just doing their job.

How Jesus Responded

But here's what's stunning: Jesus didn't defend Himself.

"When he was accused by the chief priests and the elders, he gave no answer. Then Pilate asked him, 'Don't you hear the testimony they are bringing against you?' But Jesus made no reply, not even to a single charge—to the great amazement of the governor." - Matthew 27:12-14

Jesus was silent. Not because He was guilty. But because He knew that some battles are won through surrender, not through defense. And three days later, God vindicated Him in the most public, undeniable way possible: resurrection.

What We Learn from Both Stories

Alright, let's bring this together. What do these two stories teach us?

From Absalom's Story:

Triangulation is ancient.
Manipulators weaponize real pain.
Flying monkeys go innocently.
Even the godly are not immune.

From Jesus's Story:

Silence is a weapon.
You can't control the narrative.
Vindication comes, but not always immediately.
God wins in the end.

The One Lesson That Changes Everything

Here it is: You don't have to win the battle. You just have to stay faithful.

David didn't fight Absalom. He fled. He let God handle it. And Absalom died in his own rebellion.

Jesus didn't fight the Pharisees. He surrendered. He let God handle it. And three days later, He rose.

Your job is not to clear your name. Your job is to walk in integrity and trust God with the outcome.

Series Wrap-Up: Your Complete Battle Plan Against Triangulation

We've reached the end of this 5-part series on triangulation. We've covered everything from what it is to how to fight it biblically. Here's a recap of the complete battle plan we've built together:

Part 1: Triangulation: The Demonic Tactic that Narcissists Use to Control You - We learned what triangulation is and the 5 types manipulators use.
Part 2: The Narcissist's 5-Phase Triangulation Playbook (And How to Stop It) - We broke down the 5-phase playbook manipulators follow.
Part 3: Narcissist Destroying Your Reputation? God Says Do THIS First - We covered the first 4 steps in God's battle plan: Grieve, recognize the spiritual battle, starve the fire, and document the truth.
Part 4: Narcissist Got Away With It? God's Plan for Your Vindication - We learned the final 3 steps: Build where you are welcome, surrender your reputation to God, and pray for justice.
Part 5 (This Article): How Jesus Dealt with Triangulation in the Bible - We saw how triangulation played out in Scripture—and how to respond with wisdom.

Here's what I want you to remember: Triangulation is a system of control, not a miscommunication. And God has given you a battle plan to fight it.

Click here to watch the video version of this article.

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