Covert Curses: How Narcissists Use Words as Spiritual Weapons (And You Don't Even Realize It)

Jul 07, 2025

Have you ever walked away from a conversation with someone and suddenly felt completely drained? Like your energy, your confidence, even your sense of reality was somehow... stolen?

Or maybe you've noticed that after certain interactions, negative thoughts start playing in your mind—thoughts that don't even sound like your voice, but somehow become lodged in your spirit?

What if I told you that what you experienced wasn't just a bad conversation or your imagination running wild—but something far more deliberate and spiritually dangerous?

Today, I'm going to reveal how narcissists use what I call "covert curses"—words and declarations that act as spiritual weapons against you, often disguised as casual comments, "helpful advice," or even prayers. And the most dangerous part? Most people never recognize these curses for what they really are until the damage is already done.

The Hidden Power Behind Words

The Bible tells us in Proverbs 18:21 that "Death and life are in the power of the tongue, and those who love it will eat its fruits." This isn't just poetic language—it's a spiritual reality. Our words carry power. They can build up or tear down. They can bless or they can curse.

Most of us understand what an overt curse is—someone explicitly wishing harm on another person. But covert curses? These are much more subtle and therefore much more dangerous. They're negative declarations, judgments, or labels spoken over you that are designed to shape your identity, limit your future, or create spiritual bondage—all while appearing innocent or even helpful on the surface.

Why Narcissists Are Masters of Covert Curses

Narcissists are masters at using these covert curses. Why? Because narcissism at its core isn't just a psychological condition—it has spiritual roots in the same pride that caused Lucifer's fall. The Bible tells us in Isaiah 14:13-14: "You said in your heart, 'I will ascend to heaven... I will make myself like the Most High.'"

This desire to play God—to define reality, to control others, to be the center of the universe—is at the heart of narcissistic behavior.

Not All Criticism Is a Curse: Understanding the Difference

Before we go further, I want to make an important distinction. Not all difficult feedback or criticism is a covert curse. Healthy relationships include honest feedback, and sometimes that feedback might be uncomfortable to hear.

The difference lies in the intent, pattern, and fruit:

Healthy Feedback:

Aims to help you grow
Comes from a place of love
Is specific to behaviors (not your identity)
Leaves room for dialogue

Covert Curses:

Aim to control or diminish you
Come from a place of superiority
Attack your core identity
Shut down conversation

Someone who loves you might say something that hurts—perhaps delivered imperfectly—but their goal is your wellbeing. A narcissist's goal is always control and self-elevation at your expense.

Ask yourself these questions:

Is this pattern consistent in the relationship?
Is the person open to feedback themselves?
Do they show empathy when I express hurt?

These questions help distinguish between imperfect communication from someone who cares versus systematic manipulation from someone with narcissistic traits.

The Seven Types of Covert Curses Narcissists Use

1. Identity Assassination

This is when a narcissist speaks words that attack who you fundamentally are—not just what you do.

You might hear things like:

"You've always been the difficult one."
"You're just too sensitive—you've been that way since you were a child."
"You're exactly like your father/mother" (said with contempt)
"You're the kind of person who never finishes anything."

These aren't just criticisms—they're declarations about your identity. And when repeated over time, especially by someone in authority like a parent, spouse, or religious leader, these words can become spiritual strongholds that affect how you see yourself and how you operate in the world.

The Bible talks about "destroying strongholds" and "taking every thought captive" in 2 Corinthians. These identity curses create exactly the kind of strongholds being referenced—false beliefs about yourself that become deeply rooted in your spirit.

2. Prophetic Manipulation

This is when narcissists use spiritual language to disguise their curses as prophecies or spiritual insights.

You might hear:

"God showed me that you have a spirit of rebellion."
"I sense that if you leave this relationship/community/situation, you'll be outside God's will."
"The Lord revealed to me that your motives are impure."

This is particularly dangerous in faith contexts because it weaponizes your faith against you. The narcissist positions themselves as having special access to God's thoughts about you—usually thoughts that conveniently serve the narcissist's agenda.

The Bible warns us about this in Jeremiah 23:16: "Do not listen to the words of the prophets who prophesy to you, filling you with vain hopes. They speak visions of their own minds, not from the mouth of the LORD."

Remember: God is not the author of confusion. He doesn't play games with His children, dropping cryptic, condemning "revelations" through controlling people.

3. Future Forecasting

This is when narcissists make declarations about your future that limit what's possible for you.

You might hear:

"You'll never be able to make it on your own."
"No one else would ever put up with you like I do."
"You'll regret this decision for the rest of your life."
"Your children will suffer because of your choices."

These are not predictions—they're curses disguised as concerns or warnings. They're attempts to speak failure, isolation, or suffering into your future.

But the Bible tells us in Jeremiah 29:11 that God's plans for us are "plans for welfare and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope." The narcissist's declarations about your future directly contradict God's promises over your life.

4. Comparison Curses

This is when narcissists use comparison to diminish your worth or achievements.

You might hear:

"Why can't you be more like [someone else]?"
"Other people don't seem to have this problem."
"Everyone else understands this except you."

These comparisons aren't meant to help you grow—they're meant to curse you with inadequacy and shame. They create a spiritual atmosphere of never being "enough."

The Bible warns against this kind of comparison, saying those who "measure themselves by one another and compare themselves with one another are without understanding" (2 Corinthians 10:12).

5. Disguised Blame

This is when narcissists curse you with responsibility for things that aren't your fault.

You might hear:

"Look what you made me do."
"I wouldn't have to [negative behavior] if you weren't so [criticism]."
"You bring out the worst in me."
"This is happening because you don't have enough faith."

These statements curse you with false responsibility and guilt. They're particularly damaging because they create confusion about boundaries and responsibility—which is exactly what the enemy wants. The Bible refers to Satan as "the accuser." False accusation and blame are his native language, and narcissists often speak this same language.

6. Conditional Love Statements

These are declarations that curse you with the belief that love must be earned through performance or compliance.

You might hear:

"If you really loved me, you would..."
"After all I've done for you, you should at least..."
"I'll love you when you start acting right."
"God can't bless you until you..."

These statements contradict the very nature of God's love, which the Bible tells us was demonstrated "in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us." God's love isn't conditional on our performance, and healthy human love shouldn't be either.

But these curses can create a deep spiritual wound—a belief that love is always conditional, that you must earn acceptance, and that your worth depends on what you do rather than who you are as God's child.

7. Gaslighting Declarations

These are statements that curse you with doubt about your own perceptions, memories, or sanity.

You might hear:

"That never happened—you're making things up again."
"No one else has a problem with this—the issue is your perception."
"You're crazy/unstable/delusional for thinking that."
"You always exaggerate/lie about these things."

These declarations are designed to make you doubt your God-given discernment and perception. They create confusion and disorientation—the opposite of the "sound mind" that the Bible tells us God has given us.

Gaslighting is particularly insidious because it attacks your ability to trust yourself and, by extension, your ability to trust God's voice in your life. If you can't trust your own perceptions, how can you trust when God is speaking to you or guiding you?

The Real Spiritual Impact of These Words

You might be wondering: "Are these really curses in a spiritual sense, or just mean words?"

Let me be clear: From both a psychological and spiritual perspective, these are not just hurtful comments—they're declarations that can create spiritual bondage.

Jesus said that Satan "was a murderer from the beginning, and does not stand in the truth, because there is no truth in him. When he lies, he speaks out of his own character, for he is a liar and the father of lies."

When narcissists speak these covert curses, they're often operating under the same spirit—speaking lies that are designed to steal, kill, and destroy your sense of identity, purpose, and connection with God.

The Spiritual Impact Can Include:

Broken identity and false self-perception
Confusion about God's character and voice
Blocked spiritual growth and purpose
Emotional and spiritual bondage
Damaged ability to trust God and others

Staying Open to Growth While Protecting Yourself

Recognizing covert curses doesn't mean becoming closed off to all feedback or correction. Growth requires humility and a willingness to hear difficult truths sometimes.

The key is discernment. Here's how to remain teachable while protecting yourself:

1. Consider the Source

Is this person generally trustworthy and loving?
Do they show fruits of the Spirit in their life?
Do they accept feedback themselves?

2. Examine the Content

Does the feedback focus on specific behaviors that can be changed?
Or is it attacking your fundamental worth and identity?

3. Check the Pattern

Is this an isolated incident?
Or part of a consistent pattern of putting you down?

4. Notice Your Peace

Legitimate correction, even when difficult to hear, ultimately brings peace when received with humility
Covert curses leave you feeling confused, ashamed, and diminished

5. Seek Wise Counsel

Talk to trusted friends or mentors who can help you discern whether what you're experiencing is abusive or simply challenging feedback

Remember, Jesus himself gave direct feedback to his disciples and others, but it was always aimed at growth and restoration, never at control or diminishment. True spiritual guidance, even when firm, carries the essence of love and respect for your dignity.

Four Biblical Strategies to Break Free from Covert Curses

1. Identify the Lies

First, you need to identify the specific lies you've believed because of these curses. The Bible tells us to "take every thought captive." This means examining the thoughts that run through your mind and asking: "Is this God's truth about me, or is this a lie I've accepted from someone else?"

Action step: Make a list of the negative declarations that have been spoken over you. Write them down. Seeing them on paper often helps you recognize their falseness more clearly.

2. Replace Lies with Truth

Second, replace each lie with God's truth. Jesus modeled this during His temptation in the wilderness—for each lie presented to Him, Jesus responded with "It is written" and quoted from the Bible.

For every identity curse, there's a biblical truth that directly contradicts it. For every negative future declaration, there's a promise from God about your future.

The Bible tells us that God's Word is "a lamp to my feet and a light to my path." Use the Bible to illuminate the path out of deception.

3. Break Agreement with the Curses

Third, verbally break your agreement with these curses. This might sound simple, but it's spiritually powerful. If you've been believing these lies, you've been in unconscious agreement with them. Breaking that agreement out loud is an important spiritual step.

You might pray something like: "In the name of Jesus, I break agreement with the lie that [specific lie]. I reject this curse spoken over me, and I choose to believe that [biblical truth]."

The Bible tells us to "resist the devil, and he will flee from you." Verbally rejecting these curses is part of that resistance.

4. Guard Your Spiritual Atmosphere

Finally, guard your spiritual atmosphere going forward. This might mean limiting contact with those who speak these curses, or setting firm boundaries about what kind of speech you'll accept.

The Bible instructs us to "guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it." Your heart—your inner spiritual and emotional life—is worth protecting.

This might also mean:

Surrounding yourself with people who speak life rather than death
Choosing blessing rather than cursing
Walking with those who are wise and encouraging

The Bible tells us that "whoever walks with the wise becomes wise," and the same principle applies to walking with those who speak blessing rather than cursing.

Your Words Have No Power Over Me

Covert curses are real, and their impact on your life can be devastating. But they only have the power you give them. When you recognize them for what they are, reject them in Jesus' name, and replace them with God's truth, you can break free from their influence.

Remember, the Bible tells us that "Like a fluttering sparrow or a darting swallow, an undeserved curse does not come to rest." When you know who you are in God's eyes, when you stand firm in God's truth about you, these curses have no place to land.

You were created for freedom, not bondage. For blessing, not cursing. For truth, not lies.

The Bible declares that "if the Son sets you free, you will be free indeed." That freedom includes freedom from the covert curses that others have spoken over your life.

Remember, toxicity is NOT your destiny. God has called you to freedom, and His truth about you is more powerful than any curse spoken by another person.

Related Resources

The Truth about Spiritual Attack in Toxic Relationships [Read] [Watch]
Letter to the Pastor's or Minister's Wife [Read] [Watch]
False Guilt: When the Enemy Uses Shame to Control You [Read] [Watch]
Love-bombing is Witchcraft. How to Discern and Resist this Diabolical Manipulation [Read] [Watch]
Are Narcissists Traumatized or Demonized? The Demonic Forces at Play Inside a Narcissist [Read] [Watch]
Narcissism in the Last Days: Biblical Signs and How to Stand Firm [Read][Watch]
Can God Heal a Narcissist? [Read] [Watch]
Can A Narcissist Change? 10 Ways to Tell if Their Repentance is Real. [Watch]

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