The Power of Prayer: 4 Ways to Pray for Healing After Narcissistic Relationships

prayer recovering after a narcissistic relationship Feb 13, 2024

Are you caught in the pain of a narcissistic relationship? Do you find yourself overwhelmed by the aftermath of narcissistic abuse or a breakup? Do you catch yourself constantly thinking about people who have hurt you? Maybe you’ve tried to pray, but you’ve run out of words. Perhaps you aren’t sure how to get breakthrough and move forward with your life.

In this blog, I’m going to share with you four prayer strategies to use when your heart is broken, and you feel weak. These strategies aren’t exhaustive, but they are effective when you are trying to move forward with your life after devastation.

Prayer Strategy 1: Your Tears

The first strategy is your tears. Embracing your tears as a form of prayer. When we're brokenhearted and crying out in pain, it may feel like our words have run dry. But here's the beautiful truth: our tears are a language that God understands, and He sees every single one of them and hears our crying. Your tears are a prayer unto God.

As we journey through the healing process, it's okay, even healthy, to cry. It's okay to pour out our hearts before God. He invites us to bring our pain to Him, knowing that He cares for us deeply. So, in those moments when you feel overwhelmed, let your tears flow, knowing that God is near, listening to every cry of your heart. The Bible says about God, “You keep track of all my sorrows. You have collected all my tears in your bottle. You have recorded each one in your book” (Psalm 56:8).

The Bible also says, "The righteous cry out, and the Lord hears them; he delivers them from all their troubles. The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit" (Psalm 34:17-18). Did you catch that? God is close to you in your brokenness. He knows the vulnerability and desperation in your heart. He sees your tears, and He longs to deliver you from your pain. Your cries are not in vain; they are prayers that touch the heart of God.

In those moments when all you can do is weep, know that God hears you, He sees you, and He answers you. He is a merciful and gracious God, ready to turn your sorrow into gladness and your weeping into dancing. Our God is the Creator of the heavens and the universe. He has the power to turn your darkest nights into bright, sunny days. So friend, trust in Him, lean on Him, and allow Him to heal your broken heart. Your tears are not in vain; they are a form of prayer that reaches the throne of God.

Prayer Strategy 2: Deep Calling Unto Deep

Prayer is a remarkable way to connect with the heart of God. But it’s not always about finding the perfect words to say. Sometimes, it's about allowing the depths of our souls to cry out to Him. In the Old Testament, we see an example of this in the life of Hannah. When her heart was deeply distressed, she poured out her soul to God in a deep and heartfelt prayer. You can read about her in 1 Samuel 1: 

In her deep anguish Hannah prayed to the Lord, weeping bitterly. And she made a vow, saying, "Lord Almighty, if you will only look on your servant’s misery and remember me, and not forget your servant but give her a son, then I will give him to the Lord for all the days of his life, and no razor will ever be used on his head." As she kept on praying to the Lord, Eli observed her mouth. Hannah was praying in her heart, and her lips were moving but her voice was not heard. Eli thought she was drunk and said to her, “How long are you going to stay drunk? Put away your wine.” But Hannah answered, "No, my lord, I am a woman troubled in spirit. I have drunk neither wine nor strong drink, but I have been pouring out my soul before the Lord." 1 Samuel 1:9-15.

Hannah poured out her soul before the Lord. She didn't hold back; she let her deepest emotions and longings rise up within her and touch the deep parts of God. And there were no words.

When life is so heavy that words fail you, when your heart is burdened, and all you can do is cry out to God with a deep longing--that is all you need to do. Sometimes there are no words to convey the depths coming out of our souls to God. Just like Hannah, we can bring our deepest, rawest, unspoken prayers to the Lord. Those are the prayers that God hears intently. God heard Hannah and granted her her deepest desire.

Another powerful example is Jesus in the Garden of Gethsemane. In that agonizing moment before His crucifixion, Jesus was overwhelmed with sorrow and distress. The Bible tells us, "And being in agony, He prayed more earnestly. Then His sweat became like great drops of blood falling down to the ground." (Luke 22:44). Jesus’ prayer was not a mere recitation of words; it was a deep, soulful cry that touched God's heart. His prayer was so intense that his body was physically affected.

When you find yourself weighed down by the trials of your life, remember that deep silent whole-hearted prayers are powerful. They transcend the limitations of language and touch the depths of God's heart.

I encourage you to embrace the beauty of these deep silent whole-hearted prayers. Allow the waves of your emotions to rise up within you and pour them out before the Lord. Trust that He hears the unspoken cries of your heart that His love and comfort will surround you in those moments of vulnerability, and that you will see powerful answers to your prayers just as Hannah did.

Prayer Strategy 3: Praying the Psalms

The Psalms, written by King David, offer us a unique and intimate way to pray. King David, who experienced his fair share of trials and tribulations, poured out his heart to God through these poetic and deeply personal expressions. They not only reflect his sorrows, griefs, and frustrations but also declare God's promises and faithfulness.

Imagine for a moment being in David's shoes—hunted down and abused by King Saul, his own father-in-law, for years. David faced rejection, betrayal, attempted assault, and even the threat of murder. In those dark and desperate moments, he turned to God and expressed his deepest emotions through the Psalms.

The beauty of praying the Psalms is that they allow us to pour out the full spectrum of our emotions before God. They give us permission to be honest, vulnerable, and raw in our prayers. We can find solace in knowing that David, a man after God's own heart, wrestled with his pain, discouragement, and sorrows and found comfort in God's presence.

In Psalm 42:5, where David cries out, "Why, my soul, are you downcast? Why so disturbed within me? Put your hope in God, for I will yet praise him, my Savior and my God." David's words resonate with the depths of our own hearts when we face trials and hardships. They remind us to shift our focus from our circumstances to the hope we have in God.

The Psalms offer us a way to bring our joys, sorrows, fears, and praises before God. When we pray the Psalms, we enter into a conversation with God, echoing the words of David and making them our own. We can find comfort, encouragement, and renewed hope as we declare God's promises and remember His faithfulness.

I encourage you to immerse yourself in the Psalms. Explore the tapestry of emotions and experiences they contain. When you find yourself in a situation similar to David's, select a Psalm that resonates with your heart and make it your prayer. Pour out your soul before God, knowing that He welcomes your honesty and longs to meet you where you are.

Remember when you are going through a heartbreak, especially from a toxic relationship, the Psalms are not merely ancient poems; they are living words that connect us to the heart of God. As you pray the Psalms, allow their truths to shape your perspective, strengthen your faith, and draw you closer to the One who loves you unconditionally.

Prayer Strategy 4: Praying in the Spirit

I encourage you to open your heart and yield to the Holy Spirit's guidance in your prayer life. Allow Him to pray through you, interceding for you and aligning your prayers with God's perfect will. Embrace the supernatural aspect of praying in the Spirit and expect to receive divine insights, wisdom, and empowerment as you commune with the Father. 

When your life is shipwrecked and your dreams are shattered, what is there to do? The life you thought God had given you went up in smoke. So now what? You might be feeling disillusioned or devastated. Praying in tongues or in the Spirit gives you another language, so your mind and your emotions are not part of the praying. When you are in such a low place, having a break from your emotions can be a good thing; You need to allow your spirit to align with God's spirit in prayer. Tongues can get us out of the rut of despair and rumination by allowing the Holy Spirit to take over.

You see, when we don't know what to pray for, the Spirit intercedes for us. Romans 8:26 reminds us, “Likewise the Spirit helps us in our weakness. For we do not know what to pray for as we ought, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us with groanings too deep for words.” When our minds are clouded and our emotions are in turmoil, praying in tongues provides us with another language, one that bypasses our thoughts and feelings. And in those low places, that is precisely what we need. We must allow our spirits, in alignment with God's Spirit, to do the perfect praying.

When we pray in tongues, we utter mysteries to God. 1 Corinthians 14:2 explains, “For one who speaks in a tongue speaks not to men but to God; for no one understands him, but he utters mysteries in the Spirit.” In those moments, we are building up our most Holy Faith, strengthening our spiritual foundation, and fortifying our trust in God's goodness and faithfulness.

When your life seems shattered, and your dreams are scattered like ashes, remember that praying in tongues is not just gibberish. It is a powerful prayer language given to us by the Holy Spirit. It is an avenue to tap into the wisdom and guidance of God, to experience supernatural breakthroughs, and to rise above the storms of life.

If you want to experience the gift of speaking in tongues and you long for a deeper connection with God and intimacy in your prayer life, I encourage you to continue asking God regularly until you receive the gift. Remember, this is a journey, and it may take time to develop your prayer language fully. Be patient, continue to seek the Lord, and spend time in His presence. The more you practice and allow the Holy Spirit to work through you, the more fluent and powerful your prayer language will become.

As you engage in praying in tongues, expect to experience incredible benefits. You will build up your most holy faith (Jude 1:20), you will pray the perfect prayers that align with God's will (Romans 8:26-27), and you will edify and strengthen yourself in the Lord (1 Corinthians 14:4). It's an incredible gift that brings breakthrough, intimacy with God, and a deepening of your spiritual life.

I encourage you, my friends, to set aside dedicated time for praying in tongues. Start with 15 minutes a day and gradually increase to 30 minutes, and if you can, extend it to an hour. Allow this sacred language to flow from your spirit, bypassing the limitations of your mind and emotions. It is in these extended times of communion with God that breakthroughs happen, chains are broken, and healing begins.


Thank you for taking the time to read this blog. Most likely, if you have read this far it’s because you are looking for a way forward as you navigate a toxic relationship or its aftermath. If that’s you, I invite you to stay in touch with me. You can leave your email below to get high-quality encouraging content like this delivered straight to your inbox, or leave me a message about what kind of content you would like to have more of!

Before you go, I’d like to pray for you. I pray you would experience profound restoration in your lives, and that you would know God’s peace that surpasses all understanding. I pray you will experience the fullness of God's love and joy. In Jesus’ name. Amen.

See you in next week’s blog!

Related Resources

Watch the video version of this blog here.

More on Prayer

  • Pray to Heal from Gaslighting in a Narcissistic Relationship [Read] [Watch] [Download]
  • Can Prayer Change a Narcissist? What does the Bible Say? [Read] [Watch]
  • How Do You Pray for a Narcissist? [Read] [Watch]
  • When You Should Not Pray for the Narcissist [Watch]
  • How to Pray for Yourself While You're in a Relationship with a Narcissist [Watch]

Recovering from a Narcissistic Relationship

  • How to Cope After a Breakup with a Narcissist [Read] [Watch]
  • 5 Ways to Get Closure When There Is No Closure with a Narcissist [Watch]
  • I Left the Narcissist. Now What? Five Ways to Accelerate Your Recovery. [Read] [Watch]

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